One of my biggest ‘pet peeves’ in life, is when the festive season is fully upon us and people say things like; “it doesn’t feel like Christmas” or “theres no magic at Christmas anymore…” – the last one being mainly from parents. We’re all capable of creating some magic, if we put the effort in and try. I think (most) parents base it around their children (and rightly so) for many years, then when they’re all grown-up and perhaps doing their own thing in their ‘pre child era’, I guess they (parents) don’t know ‘how to’ anymore? The festive season, without all the chaos and business of a ‘family home’ is weird when you experience it for the first time. All the years growing up, Christmas was all about getting together with the whole family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc..) there was always lots going on, with plenty of noise (which I always found overwhelming – I’d sometimes hide up, away from view for a few minutes to catch my breath!) but it was routine. It was something that happened each year, so when it fizzled out, I noticed it. I noticed the table places get smaller. I noticed the volume of noise decrease as the numbers got lower. Until, I found my person (my now wife) and moved in with her, we then just fell into a ‘Christmas our way’ pattern. Still making time for our nearest & dearest of course.

I truly believe that ‘It is what you make it’/want it to be! It’s just about finding perhaps, new traditions and experiencing different things ‘christmassy’ (I went to a Christmas market for the first time this year, and a couple of years ago we tried ‘going out’ for Christmas dinner!) Don’t get me wrong, christmas time comes with a lot of sorrow for me and I do struggle ‘getting in the mood’, as it was my Sisters favourite time of the year. But, as much as I’d love to sleep through it (and I did for the first couple of Christmas’s without my sister, pretty much), and pretend that celebrating Jesus’ birthday ‘wasn’t a thing’, I decided that I shouldn’t do that, and I got into the mentality of; I was ‘doing’ Christmas every year, because it would be genially what she would’ve wanted. So, with that I manage to snap out of that ‘funk’ (which serves no purpose, as it changes nothing and it just brings the vibe down) and I put the effort I would’ve put into my sisters presents, into the gifts I buy for others. For example, I have a nephew (not by blood, by choice… which is way better IMO) who is forever growing and changing and still believes in ‘the big man’, so I can get creative and create some magic with the gifts I get him (my bestest/his mother will be kept on her toes again this year, sorry mate haha) and encourage him to be excited for the ‘big day’, this year, I’ve been listening to his rendition of ‘Holly Jolly Christmas’ (the Michael Bublé version) and just being part of getting him into the Christmas sprit, it’s supposed to be the ‘most wonderful time of the year’, and I want him to believe that! I also like to put the same effort/thought into anyone else’s present/s that I buy/and have bought a present for. I love putting thought into it and I also remember random things about people, making the revealing surprising to the receiver as they’d often forget that they told me that, and so on.. My wife is often, pleasantly surprised when she opens a gift(s) from me – more due to the fact that I remembered something she said in the first place! It’s that joy I like to give to another person and a little nod to them to say ‘I hear you’. Sometimes that can be a gift in itself.

So, with the above (and many other reasons) I decided that I needed to add/be the magic of Christmas in anyway that I can, because my sister is no longer here to be my ‘magic’ – and of course she would haunt me if I was to be miserable or not enjoy some of the feastive joys/things that she WOULD be doing, had she of been here. So the point of this tangent is that if you feel like ‘it’s not Christmas’ or that there’s ‘no magic to it anymore’ – then you’re probably doing it wrong.

Sending love to anyone who needs it this Christmas and please be kind to yourself. And try to do a little something that makes you feel ‘warm ‘n’ fuzzy’ today..

I thought I’d end this on a Christmassy note, by sharing a picture of the little tree we had, along with the handmade Mario decorations I created. The significance of the above photo, is that this was in the December of 2020, two years after my sister passed… this was the first time making the effort for Christmas once again after having a couple of years of bare minimal/nowt. I really enjoyed making them, it actually felt like Christmas again! And it was from then on I decided that I must ‘do Christmas’ each year!

T x