It is not uncommon for an autistic person to ‘stim’ (self-stimulating) and self soothe… actually, it’s more uncommon for an autistic person to not to ‘stim’. It’s a comfort, I guess it’s just how we get by in awkward social situations, and all the other things that overwhelm our senses/ sensory capabilities. I find that it helps me keep myself regulated somewhat, preventing the overwhelming sensations of the world around me get to me too much. Takes my mind off of ‘it’ if you will… stimming can range from the good ole fashioned ‘flappy hands’ (im a serial handflapper when im excited, or around cheese!!) – to rubbing the back of my hand up and down my neck/chin area. I don’t know why I do that one – it just feels… nice?

Finding out that you’re quite the neurodivergent later on in life, does mess with your mind somewhat. As I’m in the phase of questioning EVERYTHING from the last 30+ years of my life! In turn this then creates a lot of ‘OOowwww my gawwwwwd, that makes total sense!!’ Moments. When I was a child, I remember that I couldn’t not stop (for love – nor money) to stop biting my nails. It was that bad – I wouldn’t even say that I was biting nail anymore! They were so sore, but i couldn’t stop (with it only stopping in my mid-to-late 20s). If a child was doing that this day ‘n’ age, someone woulda picked up on it. I mean, everyone in the family would mention my ‘down to the knuckle’ state of a pair of hands, yet no one questioned why I was doing it! But I couldn’t stop myself.

How to help

If a person you know is on the ‘neuro-spice-scale’ (in any shape or form) and they are stimming/making repetitive movements, firstly, is said person in distress?… Because usually it’s done out of habit – I find I ‘stim’ more so in public places. It doesn’t always mean we need help. So maybe just check in on said person in that moment. The worst thing to do is to ‘point it out’ – you think we want to draw attention to ourselves? We’re doing this to stop ourselves going into a meltdown in the current situation – a meltdown would be far more embarrassing, for us all.

Most importantly, listen and don’t judge. If we feel like we need to escape or if the moment becomes too much, allow us the space to do so. Sometimes the world is a little confusing, and too much to comprehend/handle at times.

T x